Diary
My life (approximate dates):
There is a lot more to go on this bare bones outline.
1982 Magor primary school
1991 Caldicot Comprehensive school
1993 Chepstow Comprehensive school
1995 Risca Annexe Coleg Gwent Crosskeys, National Diploma Art & Design
1997 Cheltenham School of Art, BA (honors) Degree in Fine Art
2001 Ministry of Defence, Taunton, Somerset
The above two dates are a period which Welsh slander network says I was in prison.
I have never been to prison.
2002 Art Director for Underwood Studio Animation
2003 NVQ1&2 Counseling qualification
2003-2008 Newport City, Director of SnakeAppleTree Music Studio
2003-2006 Musician for BiteTheWaxTadpole (Sound Collective)
2009 Carmarthenshire, sw Wales
2010 Charley born (my son)
2011 NVQ2 Webster-Stratton Childcare qualification
2012 CEO of Ordo Octopia multimedia multinational
2014/15 LEA award inner (art in Virtual Reality developer)
Van Notes 2009
Written & copytyped mid-late 2011. It's been nearly 2 years since I first met Kat (now my ex), so here is some of the writing I made while I was living in the van so I could visit her, because her sociopathic parents would not let me stay.
Additional: 9.3.2012
It's been 9 months since we split up.
Van Notes
Every thread moves at its own speed, governed by its own internal flow. To measure another threads speed and position requires a grid. That is where it gets confusing - because of how it is taught to us after Einstein & Minnowski. They broke it down into a particle level and that spawned QT. We know that the Observer affects the Observed, because Attention is an energy gate.
A symbol triggers a series.
Referentials. Personal and common (Jungian Archetypals). Teutonic grid. Speak eg; -of-
A sleepy little kid whose dreams are beyond this world. We saw him every prior episode snoozin' in the back of the woodland shack close to where the hearth is. His work as a dream shaman, to astral travel and help others by resonance and deal with the spirits of dreamworlds. Time is no barrier in dream.
Forest feather in my hair just fluttered by itself as I was texting a note about rebirth of spirits.
Family spirits wanting reborn play serious life games with the living to get the right window configuration. Its nothing to worry about, we all do it so they say, and as they're the only ones teaching us, are they lying? The embodied are Blind. Wrong word to call them Living.
Fremen act because of survival necessity. We don't have the luxury of choice. We flow as water, with water's way. Energy seeks balance. This is our law. This is our Tau (spirit).
They say words in one reality paradigm and it means something different in another reality paradigm. Upshift, the multiverse. That is symbolism as experience. It's how shrooms help us to see. It is how hieroglyphs work. Our percept, our psychology is versatile.
For example a policemans use of the word 'understand' does not mean 'comprehend' it means 'stand beneath' as in 'obey'. "No Officer I do not understand."
As expansion of Berger (Ways of Seeing) we have needs eg; she needs to be asked how her kid is to maintain a level of happiness, normality check. The Hapi flow of Ki is about this in Egyptology. Hapi the Canopic Baboon headed deity.
Scars on her Teeth.
I put on these clothes and I take on a role of a murdress vampyr, she said in a look as her talons reached to me, I let her claw my skin, I love her.
Ravenspear.
Olde Worlde in columns and levels fine carved wooden barn, all the trappings. Olde Worlde not only in style but a timewarp. Piano played by ghosts their name for jukebox. Grow to liberate the mind. Once in a stable loop it doesn't change much. He's been through everything. One stunning strong ale is deserved. Been a tough week. Build it in cyber for a horror game. Are they interested? Don't usually drink. Think. Platform 6 cybercity infuses the mind with a steel eyed vibe. She's watching and feeling he seems happy too. It's what happens in the dark streets as the face snaps to
I walk thru town and I see her hunched up in shadows and I ask if she's okay. Then I remember I spoke to her today. She's lonely, skinny and dark. I told her I love her. Maybe we will meet tho we are so far, evening shadows of the internet.
Manager of a punk outfit called We Are Fiction.
tracklist;
Firection, Earthquail, ShiekAme, Windustry.
Delinquintessence
El Vampiro Los Sutre Vala
Deepcore detectives
Is What Is
Blacktrax
the bars are to protect us
Supercasual
WheRe are the others go?
Pingpong stereopan,
2 tones; xylo,
tic left toc right,
tic right toc left,
loop,
to build the dna spiral.
2 paths weaving instead of 1 central core.
Celestine Insight:
we all flavour the energy, we all have a unique texture to us,
the signature frequency of the lightbody.
Additional: 9.3.2012
It's been 9 months since we split up.
Van Notes
Every thread moves at its own speed, governed by its own internal flow. To measure another threads speed and position requires a grid. That is where it gets confusing - because of how it is taught to us after Einstein & Minnowski. They broke it down into a particle level and that spawned QT. We know that the Observer affects the Observed, because Attention is an energy gate.
A symbol triggers a series.
Referentials. Personal and common (Jungian Archetypals). Teutonic grid. Speak eg; -of-
A sleepy little kid whose dreams are beyond this world. We saw him every prior episode snoozin' in the back of the woodland shack close to where the hearth is. His work as a dream shaman, to astral travel and help others by resonance and deal with the spirits of dreamworlds. Time is no barrier in dream.
Forest feather in my hair just fluttered by itself as I was texting a note about rebirth of spirits.
Family spirits wanting reborn play serious life games with the living to get the right window configuration. Its nothing to worry about, we all do it so they say, and as they're the only ones teaching us, are they lying? The embodied are Blind. Wrong word to call them Living.
Fremen act because of survival necessity. We don't have the luxury of choice. We flow as water, with water's way. Energy seeks balance. This is our law. This is our Tau (spirit).
They say words in one reality paradigm and it means something different in another reality paradigm. Upshift, the multiverse. That is symbolism as experience. It's how shrooms help us to see. It is how hieroglyphs work. Our percept, our psychology is versatile.
For example a policemans use of the word 'understand' does not mean 'comprehend' it means 'stand beneath' as in 'obey'. "No Officer I do not understand."
As expansion of Berger (Ways of Seeing) we have needs eg; she needs to be asked how her kid is to maintain a level of happiness, normality check. The Hapi flow of Ki is about this in Egyptology. Hapi the Canopic Baboon headed deity.
Scars on her Teeth.
I put on these clothes and I take on a role of a murdress vampyr, she said in a look as her talons reached to me, I let her claw my skin, I love her.
Ravenspear.
Olde Worlde in columns and levels fine carved wooden barn, all the trappings. Olde Worlde not only in style but a timewarp. Piano played by ghosts their name for jukebox. Grow to liberate the mind. Once in a stable loop it doesn't change much. He's been through everything. One stunning strong ale is deserved. Been a tough week. Build it in cyber for a horror game. Are they interested? Don't usually drink. Think. Platform 6 cybercity infuses the mind with a steel eyed vibe. She's watching and feeling he seems happy too. It's what happens in the dark streets as the face snaps to
I walk thru town and I see her hunched up in shadows and I ask if she's okay. Then I remember I spoke to her today. She's lonely, skinny and dark. I told her I love her. Maybe we will meet tho we are so far, evening shadows of the internet.
Manager of a punk outfit called We Are Fiction.
tracklist;
Firection, Earthquail, ShiekAme, Windustry.
Delinquintessence
El Vampiro Los Sutre Vala
Deepcore detectives
Is What Is
Blacktrax
the bars are to protect us
Supercasual
WheRe are the others go?
Pingpong stereopan,
2 tones; xylo,
tic left toc right,
tic right toc left,
loop,
to build the dna spiral.
2 paths weaving instead of 1 central core.
Celestine Insight:
we all flavour the energy, we all have a unique texture to us,
the signature frequency of the lightbody.
Restructuring The Fabric
The van was Stormbringer incarnate in the form of a mode of transport; a 96 mercedes sprinter with a fibre-glass topped luton that baked in the summer and froze in the winter so living in it was always impractical. It transported me and my worldly goods from one place to another further along the river severn estuary which I have lived all over both sides of and consider my home, like so many wild birds displaced by the illusion of progress that is industrialization that speaks a lot about my creative inner tension between hardcore techno-drum&bass electro and acoustic gypsy folk music where the real feeling is.
The van had watch-towers; black lions all over it that I didn't see until after I bought it blind to the eye but full on open to the spirit and instinct, from eBay. It had the word Sovereign emblazened on the front above the cab and it has a phone number of the old company that used to own it on the back, just so happens to be the numbers of my birthday. A lot of magick bound up in that van, personal to my path; and unbound now to go back into Spirit to reform where it is better needed for the next stage.
The guy who bought it from me just so happens by coincidence to have the same name as me. Well not "me" per se; to a certain piece of legal paperwork, that represents a fictional entity copyright owned by the queen as it bears the royal insignia; and therefore nothing whatsoever to do with my living body other than third parties seem to want me accepting their 'disbelief syndrome' mental delusion game that government society relies on to function. As it said on the van, I'm Sovereign and therefore do not have to comply to the lie. I didn't sign a birth certificate contact, therefore I have no contractual obligation to be bound by the statute rules of a society, no matter what its members say to the contrary. I am Common Law jurisdiction freeman-of-the-land as duly notified. Except the system doesn't work like that.
Shame I never got to set the drumkit up in the van for a bash, that would have been wicked awesome. Probably too rock for my vibe. Lots of good memories of the van.
The van had watch-towers; black lions all over it that I didn't see until after I bought it blind to the eye but full on open to the spirit and instinct, from eBay. It had the word Sovereign emblazened on the front above the cab and it has a phone number of the old company that used to own it on the back, just so happens to be the numbers of my birthday. A lot of magick bound up in that van, personal to my path; and unbound now to go back into Spirit to reform where it is better needed for the next stage.
The guy who bought it from me just so happens by coincidence to have the same name as me. Well not "me" per se; to a certain piece of legal paperwork, that represents a fictional entity copyright owned by the queen as it bears the royal insignia; and therefore nothing whatsoever to do with my living body other than third parties seem to want me accepting their 'disbelief syndrome' mental delusion game that government society relies on to function. As it said on the van, I'm Sovereign and therefore do not have to comply to the lie. I didn't sign a birth certificate contact, therefore I have no contractual obligation to be bound by the statute rules of a society, no matter what its members say to the contrary. I am Common Law jurisdiction freeman-of-the-land as duly notified. Except the system doesn't work like that.
Shame I never got to set the drumkit up in the van for a bash, that would have been wicked awesome. Probably too rock for my vibe. Lots of good memories of the van.
4.12.11
The ones who have tragedy in their lives are the ones with rainbow hearts of Light and go unoticed to all but the ones who count, who are the ones who get taken away. The ones with fuck all but ego turn their fuck-all-else-to-do-but-be-tragedian-anti-hero into stunning art for all to admire. Such is life.
I spent today despairing that a friend is slicing her wrists on the other end of a dead-line internet box and wondering if I am going to hear from her again or if its just a trip to shake me off her back because I care. Have better things to do, a day older wasted when I could have been in the studio. Im flirting with my new synth and finding ways to accept that nowadays the machines do all the thinking for you unless you want to really speak, in which case sampling little bits and re-assembling it, the 'tedious work' part of being an electronic musician.
I woke this morning in time to give my boy up to his mam for 4 days in 8 that the court order states. Last time she had him spiked with needles and filled with a potion known to cause autism and containing mercury to shrivel up his pineal gland so he can't ever psychic develop, if the independent reports are to be believed instead of the ones written by people on the pharmacy payroll working for Agenda21 'depopulation & dumbing down' . Easier not to think about the big issues we cannot change and just get my sharp nose back to the grindstone, or is that my hard nose back to the blades of wisdom flying at me from all angles but the ones I want to poke it in.
So here it is kitten, here's the music for unsung heroes and shroedinger-dead friends too far away for me to save from themselves because I'm on a tight budget with a toddler to feed and keep warm, having spent funds from selling the van on synths and career instead of train fare and people, like the dedicated callous pro I am. So now you know my priorities even as I angst up late at night about it all and twist said anguish to nightmare beauty, cleansing sounds of pain and release, the-suffering-affinity and healing-tonal audio-art. People are dying for my music, its a shadow form of compliment.
Thank you government for bombing the innocent children of Afghanistan so my boy can have gas central heating this winter. It's freezing to ice outside and we aren't even into winter yet.
Wales; land of song, rain, slate, coal, rugby, frost, dragons and women who are all that.
tRust rpg by Ordo Octopia Ltd
tRust rpg
Cover Illustration by Veronica Harmonique Normand
today hasn't been all wasted,
I did the design for a project available at
http://www.obsidianportal.com/campaign/trust
based on an original concept by Rachel Dolphindark
http://dolphindark.blogspot.com/2011/02/trust.html?zx=70519248c84004a9
@Dolphindark:
Further to our discussion on Taoism / martial arts training for tRust.
The information in this link encapsulates the philosophy behind training; http://www.webjam.com/snakeappletree/tao
It basically comes down to one word:
INSTINCT
Instinct is Prana (life flow energy).
Instinct is Kata (in flow with the pure form).
ALWAYS TRUST YOUR INSTINCT
Physical prowess is determined by strengthening elasticity through flow;
in yogic form, in tai-chi, we are binding prana (instinct) into the nerves and fibres,
that our automatic reflexes are fast and supple. That is the purpose of prana-bindu exercises, which we call yoga and in martial arts forms, by sparring.
This is the dedication of our Dojo.
-Snakeappletree
13.12.11
"I sit alone, in candle-lit shadows"
I awoke this morning with my muscles aching and my head in a vice and coughed up black chunks from my throat which feels like a sparkler or an ember is stuck in there. Have been drinking 'honey, lemon & hot water' remedy and propolis expensive black tar from the health food shop, I also found a remedy for half tablespoon honey half tablespoon apple cider vinegar.
All this stuff combined with lots of laying down on the sofa drifting in and out of delirium sleep. During which I wrote the following notes:
"head cold = head ache = tension tight ouch in my head cant move too fast = too much eigintones in this building = lay down to rest & what I saw, was show, in a semi-delirium as my aching mind lets go of the rigid mode, shaman style; We are databases. We are databases. Our aura's are not '7 colours' they are gradients of many tones of each colour, and the ones we are tuned to, that we carry; these are the spectrum we are plugged into, like Herschels radio spectroscopy: there is data in these. If you go on soundcloud.com and see any track that is heavily tagged with messages; thats what we are like.
*The aura is a digital crystal*
and it is possible to read other people. Of course the strongest way to transfer the data, is good old fashioned intercourse which is 1-1. Once knowledge of this accepted, how we use our bodies to download and transfer whole persona-patterns, memories, spectrum tones, esp abilities and all of it, the whole soul; for people who know how to invoke the download. It imprints through the neural system into the light code. I'm soaking up info about my neighbors and people, data that I hadn't known before, because the tension is like a web, and the looseness is a gate, a window. Stars are the web while the void is the space between, the time out from the mesh. Where the tension is pushing my aching mind to find a quiet spot; therin be the revelations.
It is going to take a lot of open-minded & focussed training to get people to be able to do this knowingly, aware; first off the kundalini yoga methods of using the chakra-consiousnesses successfully. Am go back to bed now the screen is burning my eyes.most of us have too many inhibitions or there are too many criminals around its not safe to open up completely without having to bypass tension & abuse. We can plug into Stars with this, the cosmic light grid.
for throat ache i told my throat i love it, as suggested in Louise Hay 'Heal Your Body'; and im sorry i havent given it enough voice. then i lay down and started seeing visions of 'inside' me like double rows of squares of different colours, dna code maybe or for the lightbody. And I saw the core of the aura as a column made of many cross-slices, check out what a digital crystal looks like it was the same. Asked Angel Durga to help cleanse me. Am writing all this here, partly to make good on my promise to my throat and partly to find out if anyone else out there has had similar experience.
I was hearing the tension generated by angry and abused/abusive people moving around in the street and next door, so acutely, it is like hearing winds blowing. Not pleasant. I think I was sensitive enough to be perceiving this. Anyway its gone now" :)
For whatever that's worth.
Have wasted all day feeling lonely and like Lurch from the Adams Family, like Boo Radley, never go out, never speak with anyone, never party, never socialize apart from internet, and am lost as to the point of my life right now at this time other than looking after my kid as best as I am able on the days I have him. The deal done out of court last court session was I have custody mam has access but in practice its 50/50. I only hope he's ok because for example she got him vaccinated last week after he had something bad that the hospital don't think was Rubella although the mam does, and today I discovered that;
“The chief, if not the sole, cause of the monstrous increase in cancer has been vaccination”
– Dr. Robert Bell,
once Vice President International Society for Cancer Research at the British Cancer Hospital (WASHINGTON, D.C.)
http://inpursuitofhappiness.wordpress.com/2011/12/09/all-the-vaccines-are-contaminated-every-last-one-of-them/
Have also wasted all day downloading depressive-suicidal-black-metal albums from a cheeky free download blog I found, wondering why I am attracted to music described as 'depressive' when I should probably be after 'uplifting black metal' and 'energizing goth' tunes. For some reason the link won't work, probably just as well...
So to Doom Metal it is then...
Anyway I wrote this to let you know how I feel when time stops,
but I'm sure you already know.
All this stuff combined with lots of laying down on the sofa drifting in and out of delirium sleep. During which I wrote the following notes:
"head cold = head ache = tension tight ouch in my head cant move too fast = too much eigintones in this building = lay down to rest & what I saw, was show, in a semi-delirium as my aching mind lets go of the rigid mode, shaman style; We are databases. We are databases. Our aura's are not '7 colours' they are gradients of many tones of each colour, and the ones we are tuned to, that we carry; these are the spectrum we are plugged into, like Herschels radio spectroscopy: there is data in these. If you go on soundcloud.com and see any track that is heavily tagged with messages; thats what we are like.
*The aura is a digital crystal*
and it is possible to read other people. Of course the strongest way to transfer the data, is good old fashioned intercourse which is 1-1. Once knowledge of this accepted, how we use our bodies to download and transfer whole persona-patterns, memories, spectrum tones, esp abilities and all of it, the whole soul; for people who know how to invoke the download. It imprints through the neural system into the light code. I'm soaking up info about my neighbors and people, data that I hadn't known before, because the tension is like a web, and the looseness is a gate, a window. Stars are the web while the void is the space between, the time out from the mesh. Where the tension is pushing my aching mind to find a quiet spot; therin be the revelations.
It is going to take a lot of open-minded & focussed training to get people to be able to do this knowingly, aware; first off the kundalini yoga methods of using the chakra-consiousnesses successfully. Am go back to bed now the screen is burning my eyes.most of us have too many inhibitions or there are too many criminals around its not safe to open up completely without having to bypass tension & abuse. We can plug into Stars with this, the cosmic light grid.
for throat ache i told my throat i love it, as suggested in Louise Hay 'Heal Your Body'; and im sorry i havent given it enough voice. then i lay down and started seeing visions of 'inside' me like double rows of squares of different colours, dna code maybe or for the lightbody. And I saw the core of the aura as a column made of many cross-slices, check out what a digital crystal looks like it was the same. Asked Angel Durga to help cleanse me. Am writing all this here, partly to make good on my promise to my throat and partly to find out if anyone else out there has had similar experience.
I was hearing the tension generated by angry and abused/abusive people moving around in the street and next door, so acutely, it is like hearing winds blowing. Not pleasant. I think I was sensitive enough to be perceiving this. Anyway its gone now" :)
For whatever that's worth.
Have wasted all day feeling lonely and like Lurch from the Adams Family, like Boo Radley, never go out, never speak with anyone, never party, never socialize apart from internet, and am lost as to the point of my life right now at this time other than looking after my kid as best as I am able on the days I have him. The deal done out of court last court session was I have custody mam has access but in practice its 50/50. I only hope he's ok because for example she got him vaccinated last week after he had something bad that the hospital don't think was Rubella although the mam does, and today I discovered that;
“The chief, if not the sole, cause of the monstrous increase in cancer has been vaccination”
– Dr. Robert Bell,
once Vice President International Society for Cancer Research at the British Cancer Hospital (WASHINGTON, D.C.)
http://inpursuitofhappiness.wordpress.com/2011/12/09/all-the-vaccines-are-contaminated-every-last-one-of-them/
Have also wasted all day downloading depressive-suicidal-black-metal albums from a cheeky free download blog I found, wondering why I am attracted to music described as 'depressive' when I should probably be after 'uplifting black metal' and 'energizing goth' tunes. For some reason the link won't work, probably just as well...
So to Doom Metal it is then...
Anyway I wrote this to let you know how I feel when time stops,
but I'm sure you already know.
Trial By Assumption
they gave me a reputation
with their lies and deceit
they gave me an empty space
because the ones that i choose
had heard the rumors in advance
they say i sleep with everything that moves
(seems to me that everything i sleep with moves on)
just another number on my bedpost
so the girl turns away in advance
she doesn’t want that sort of man
"he might be good for a laugh
but he doesn't put on the charm
when i try it on,
he doesn't know how to dance
so we all say he’s gay
and he’s got a reputation"
trial by assumption
all he wants to do is make sure
everything’s ok
its been so long now
since i shared a scene
with another dreamer
its been so long now
i'm growing older
inside my heart bursts
for the magick we could know
but you listen to a rumor
the bastards had put there
to destroy my soul
and make it colder
all i have is emptiness
a tiny dwindling star
an ache to love
unsatisfied becomes obsession
thanks to the repression of black days
too many nights alone
in a place i can’t call home
because home is where the heart is
and it hurts too much to open up
for anyone
"So what I learned is; Goths are nostalgic, not for lost events but for sorrow."
That's what all the symbolism is about.
Bones, GravenStones, Ruined Architecture,
all metabollox for the forlorn Soul.
And probably also just a little bit pessimistic.
Although they ride on it; because deep down inside,
you know!
that Nothing matters,
that it is all taken care of and that really,
you don't have to worry about anything.
so
SO FUCKING WHAT?
Yeah but So Fucking What?
"These Beings, that are acting out in ways that you find so awful,
are tormented and suffering in ways that you will not understand.
Their horrible acts are extensions of that pain.
We also have to say to you - no-one who is not a vibrational match to that could be their victim."
-Abraham
13.1.2012
1: Outside
There is too much to this album to know where to begin. It is one of Bowies best, and his last good one before he went shit. It is a very personal album to me for several reasons. At this time I should announce that I have now been to Oxford town. I was there earlier in the week and it was a learning curve. When a friend Thorn sent me a text that she had no cooker and social services were breathing down her neck because her 4 year old and accusations of child neglect etc, I rationalized that since I happened at that time to have a spare oven sitting in the back of my car, obviously it was destined for her.
I drove up there and sanded her floors because the boy was complaining of splinters. In exchange for this help she gave me a hard time and we fell out. Such is life. My seer ally Far had been right with a warning she once gave me about diddycot witches.
A Splinter of Destiny
Time and again the lyrics of Outside weaved their way into my life. I believe the amount of psychic drugs Bowie has taken have given him visionary capabilities and he has been energ0-draining me by scrying upon scenes of my existence. Probably he did not believe me to be a real flesh&blood but a cartoon of some sort, an inspiration for the piss-take with which his genius has frequently attacked my very reality. The concept of a Splinter of Destiny is something like a stake through a vampires heart, albeit a tiny one that doesn't pierce much below the skin and yet is irksome. In the words of Morpheus of the Matrix, "a barb in the mind." It all comes back to Outside, experiences shaped by the forms he cast here. I was in art school studying hard to become a hippy drop-out for the phase during which the data code sunk into my awareness, just a few years after this album was released and I retraced his steps, for example through Berlin and the neural paths he had set aside for his fans to follow up on. Did he know what had become of him? Still we cannot tell.
Ingrained into the fabric of a dusty floor are grains counted by the holy woman in Orson Scott Card's epic masterwork, the Ender Saga. For those who read the grains...
Such thoughts fuel me as I return to my studio and record new experiences.
I drove up there and sanded her floors because the boy was complaining of splinters. In exchange for this help she gave me a hard time and we fell out. Such is life. My seer ally Far had been right with a warning she once gave me about diddycot witches.
A Splinter of Destiny
Time and again the lyrics of Outside weaved their way into my life. I believe the amount of psychic drugs Bowie has taken have given him visionary capabilities and he has been energ0-draining me by scrying upon scenes of my existence. Probably he did not believe me to be a real flesh&blood but a cartoon of some sort, an inspiration for the piss-take with which his genius has frequently attacked my very reality. The concept of a Splinter of Destiny is something like a stake through a vampires heart, albeit a tiny one that doesn't pierce much below the skin and yet is irksome. In the words of Morpheus of the Matrix, "a barb in the mind." It all comes back to Outside, experiences shaped by the forms he cast here. I was in art school studying hard to become a hippy drop-out for the phase during which the data code sunk into my awareness, just a few years after this album was released and I retraced his steps, for example through Berlin and the neural paths he had set aside for his fans to follow up on. Did he know what had become of him? Still we cannot tell.
Ingrained into the fabric of a dusty floor are grains counted by the holy woman in Orson Scott Card's epic masterwork, the Ender Saga. For those who read the grains...
Such thoughts fuel me as I return to my studio and record new experiences.
23.1.12
Went for a blood test today and the nurses couldn't get any blood out of me. Put it down to my drinking too much coffee, a diaretic. Have new appointment next week after a week of detox on green tea. I wonder if this counts as a failed blood test?
Was speaking online last night with a group of vampire roleplayers about blood and blood rites. It contains all 5 major elements; earth, fire, water, air and spirit. That's why it is sacramental.
Have been texting with my ex who is a vampire. Arguably that's what's dried me out and not the caffeine. She's learning the bass. It figures.
Was speaking online last night with a group of vampire roleplayers about blood and blood rites. It contains all 5 major elements; earth, fire, water, air and spirit. That's why it is sacramental.
Have been texting with my ex who is a vampire. Arguably that's what's dried me out and not the caffeine. She's learning the bass. It figures.
13.2.2012
My ex is trying to drive me to suicide or sanctuary in the Salem asylum, the Arkham academy for unusually gifted reality-benders, for the special treatment of electro-shock therapy to turn my temples white and my hair sticking up like Magenta from that crap Tim Curry thing that gets people in trouble.
I have several audio recordings of her telling me how much she is enjoying playing head games with me. I cannot use them in court in case she claims that the audio recording is faked.
Nothing I can do about her abusing me despite my having hard proof of it because the family court system only want what is best for the kids which is both parents 50/50 being in their lives. Proof that one parent is abusive is hardly relevant to them.
It is a sick society and today I saw the Truth of it all; once sperm has fertilized egg, Man is useful only for money, wheels and emotional punchbag. I have spent my life being EQUALITY EQUALITY EQUALITY but today I saw that Draconian manipulation in play and to be honest, it doesn't matter how good a father I am in the eyes of the state I am pointless and irrelevant and "if I know whats good for me I will leave town quietly." I cannot be a good father with this sort of pressure.
Moan ends.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVPAEoiN0_w <WATCH THIS
"Stop Being Food for the Reptilian Complex" - Epic Sermon from Thomas Sheridan
Studio Notes
I acquired a mixer that I have been paying regular installments for several months in cash generator. It is lush. A Yamaha with built in sound effects. Usually i put my own needs second to my son but sometimes something worth having is waved under my nose and I would be a fool not to grab it. I read the manual and I understand it! It is versatile and one day I might even get a chance to use it. It has made my studio a lot easier to handle. All I need now is many adapters for my red&white stereo leads and a decent voice mic, and some monitor speakers that don't go GRRRR, and I will have a totally cool studio to do some mature work in at last. It's exciting and its keeping me going. Music is always there it has always been my release and I need it as stress relief. There's a few other things that fit that category also but I haven't found her yet.
I have several audio recordings of her telling me how much she is enjoying playing head games with me. I cannot use them in court in case she claims that the audio recording is faked.
Nothing I can do about her abusing me despite my having hard proof of it because the family court system only want what is best for the kids which is both parents 50/50 being in their lives. Proof that one parent is abusive is hardly relevant to them.
It is a sick society and today I saw the Truth of it all; once sperm has fertilized egg, Man is useful only for money, wheels and emotional punchbag. I have spent my life being EQUALITY EQUALITY EQUALITY but today I saw that Draconian manipulation in play and to be honest, it doesn't matter how good a father I am in the eyes of the state I am pointless and irrelevant and "if I know whats good for me I will leave town quietly." I cannot be a good father with this sort of pressure.
Moan ends.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVPAEoiN0_w <WATCH THIS
"Stop Being Food for the Reptilian Complex" - Epic Sermon from Thomas Sheridan
Studio Notes
I acquired a mixer that I have been paying regular installments for several months in cash generator. It is lush. A Yamaha with built in sound effects. Usually i put my own needs second to my son but sometimes something worth having is waved under my nose and I would be a fool not to grab it. I read the manual and I understand it! It is versatile and one day I might even get a chance to use it. It has made my studio a lot easier to handle. All I need now is many adapters for my red&white stereo leads and a decent voice mic, and some monitor speakers that don't go GRRRR, and I will have a totally cool studio to do some mature work in at last. It's exciting and its keeping me going. Music is always there it has always been my release and I need it as stress relief. There's a few other things that fit that category also but I haven't found her yet.
26.2.2012
Two days of sunshine, two days on the beach with my boy, I found the chilled out spot on the bay where the waves crash like a dream soundscape. First dose of vitamin D in 6 months. They started chemtrail spraying the blue skies today and tonight the seagulls came in calling that there's a low on its way.
I decided that instead of take out a loan for a thousand pounds 1 months rent in advance plus bond plus agents fee's and money for a removal van, it makes more sense to take out a thousand pound loan and give it all to the landlord for the difference in rent between what I can afford and what it costs to stay here. The path of least resistance.
I also had a revelation that Tattoos do not make a person tribal. Being tribal makes a person tribal and that is about an attitude toward life and people and community, it has nothing to do with what you look like at all.
This is supposed to be specifically STUDIO diary, not general diary, so I will shutthefuckupnow.
I decided that instead of take out a loan for a thousand pounds 1 months rent in advance plus bond plus agents fee's and money for a removal van, it makes more sense to take out a thousand pound loan and give it all to the landlord for the difference in rent between what I can afford and what it costs to stay here. The path of least resistance.
I also had a revelation that Tattoos do not make a person tribal. Being tribal makes a person tribal and that is about an attitude toward life and people and community, it has nothing to do with what you look like at all.
This is supposed to be specifically STUDIO diary, not general diary, so I will shutthefuckupnow.
2.3.2012
Trial By Atmosphere
I have been writing (words) all my life.
I read loads of books about being a better writer.
There is a format system, "beginning middle end" is the simplest way to explain it.
Then it gets more complicated with 5 and 8 stages, which entertaining stories allegedly fit into.
But most important is a few phrases;
>Keep It Simple!
>Tell It As It Is!
For becoming a better writer,;
>"Write Write Write" and "Read Read Read"
(both many different styles)
also
>Explore Taboo
(this pushes your limits into more lucid and insightful writing)
>Love Your Reader
(Give them the best ride of their life)
There are other tricks also.
Using sub-plot to enhance the main story.
The writer is aware of 'Underlaying Structure'.
With sub-plot there are 3 approaches.
1) A blue ball in a blue room. This emphasizes the main point being made with the story be re-establishing the 'rule'.
2) An orange ball in a blue room. This emphasizes the main point by contrast with its opposite.
3) A green ball in a blue room. Similar to the main point but another slant on it, exploring from a different angle.
That's the best advice I can give anybody about writing.
It is the advice that I try to stick to myself.
Very often, what happens is this;
The story runs away with itself.
The characters have their own agenda and refuse to obey my planned idea.
When this happens, the story tells itself, GO WITH IT!
When we open the creative mind to the imaginal realms, we deal with subconscious instinct, we deal with energies that are flowing whether we choose to look into them or not. A story that wants to be told is a story worth telling. Fighting against this, destroys the purpose of spending time writing.
The writer has 2 parts to their mind;
Imaginal (creative) and Systematic.
The systematic is the underlaying structure.
It is the grid system that words are made to fit into, no matter what the story content.
I am organic; I consciously use rhythm for structure in my writing. I very often speak aloud the words I am writing to see if they flow smoothly. If they are convoluted, I re-phrase them. This is why I prefer computers with cut&paste to type-writers and hand-drafting.
Usually I try to use as few words as possible and very often I use too many words despite my desire for minimalism.
And then, I conjour evocative fancies with flowerful descriptive prose, this enjoyable exercise reads not like a technical manual, it is not for instruction but for pleasure of the senses; the poetry drips delight like rainbow coloured honeydew drops from the leafs of every word in my word vine, from the fresh and juicy jungle of living ...
... and then I am stuck for a word and derail, distracted by birdsong outside and the coffee machine burbling like a creature breathing in the kitchen.
To apply this to music,
where words are replaced by sounds...
it is a similar arena.
I read loads of books about being a better writer.
There is a format system, "beginning middle end" is the simplest way to explain it.
Then it gets more complicated with 5 and 8 stages, which entertaining stories allegedly fit into.
But most important is a few phrases;
>Keep It Simple!
>Tell It As It Is!
For becoming a better writer,;
>"Write Write Write" and "Read Read Read"
(both many different styles)
also
>Explore Taboo
(this pushes your limits into more lucid and insightful writing)
>Love Your Reader
(Give them the best ride of their life)
There are other tricks also.
Using sub-plot to enhance the main story.
The writer is aware of 'Underlaying Structure'.
With sub-plot there are 3 approaches.
1) A blue ball in a blue room. This emphasizes the main point being made with the story be re-establishing the 'rule'.
2) An orange ball in a blue room. This emphasizes the main point by contrast with its opposite.
3) A green ball in a blue room. Similar to the main point but another slant on it, exploring from a different angle.
That's the best advice I can give anybody about writing.
It is the advice that I try to stick to myself.
Very often, what happens is this;
The story runs away with itself.
The characters have their own agenda and refuse to obey my planned idea.
When this happens, the story tells itself, GO WITH IT!
When we open the creative mind to the imaginal realms, we deal with subconscious instinct, we deal with energies that are flowing whether we choose to look into them or not. A story that wants to be told is a story worth telling. Fighting against this, destroys the purpose of spending time writing.
The writer has 2 parts to their mind;
Imaginal (creative) and Systematic.
The systematic is the underlaying structure.
It is the grid system that words are made to fit into, no matter what the story content.
I am organic; I consciously use rhythm for structure in my writing. I very often speak aloud the words I am writing to see if they flow smoothly. If they are convoluted, I re-phrase them. This is why I prefer computers with cut&paste to type-writers and hand-drafting.
Usually I try to use as few words as possible and very often I use too many words despite my desire for minimalism.
And then, I conjour evocative fancies with flowerful descriptive prose, this enjoyable exercise reads not like a technical manual, it is not for instruction but for pleasure of the senses; the poetry drips delight like rainbow coloured honeydew drops from the leafs of every word in my word vine, from the fresh and juicy jungle of living ...
... and then I am stuck for a word and derail, distracted by birdsong outside and the coffee machine burbling like a creature breathing in the kitchen.
To apply this to music,
where words are replaced by sounds...
it is a similar arena.
1.3.2012
Have finally got the studio up and running in a system that I can work with fluidly, fluently. It's a modular system. Using MIDI to connect the machines to get them talking to each other and resolving incompatibility issues even within MIDI. Using red&white cheap stereo leads wherever possible. Using half a dozen other types of audio leads everyplace else. Just simply to get the sound to go through from one unit to another. It is an exciting time; Chinese Year of the Water Dragon. Water is recognized in occultism to be associated with communication, and musicians are that. This year I intend not only to produce a quality album but also to learn and get better and faster at what I am doing in the studio. Remembering to hit the 'record' switch.
8.3.2012
It's going well!
Remembering to keep it minimal, compress the drums so they sound up close, deep and punchy.
The chaos strands are coming into a grid now and I can clearly see what I have to do.
Full moon in Virgo tonight no wonder I can't sleep!
Creativity!
9.3.2012
Have spent several nights struggling around with the same sounds in the sequencer, progress is slow but what I have so far is beautiful, lucky to be using some very choice samples and sounds that work well with them. Need to make a plan and stick to it to force myself through progressing on with these tracks. Working on two or three at a time because that's how it works when the virgo full moon energy is keeping me awake all night long. Enjoying it. Not as productive as i would prefer, need to get back into the groove, to get on with it. Facing the unformed emptiness is a big thing to do, its probably better if I stop looking there and concentrate at the job at hand of letting it flow. And less time writing blogs.
21.3.2012
Having fallen out of Love with the korg ES-1 sampler, without knowing why, a bad feeling whenever I go near it. Last night I was driven to bulk delete the entire memory card. I have not worked with this machine much for the past few years the whole time I was with Kat. A lot of hours of sampling stored there - gone with a decisive press of a button.
Instantly my head cleared, my heart cleared, I saw with focus and the Love I previously had for this great little machine is back. What had happened?
A dark spirit was using me, and the machine, as its gate. The patterns and frequencies stored within the machine as 'music' were its access to enter and drain energy. So without searching file after file, I just killed the lot, sacrificed 9 full fat files of samples, I dont know how long maybe twenty minutes of, and all the associated rhythms.
I feel fantastic.
Today using the machine again, a hissing in my head, I identified exactly who the dark spirit is. Its an ancestral one who has been using me, controlling me for a few years.
No more dark and heavy music for summoning ghosts. From now on I'm staying clear of all that shit. No more dark trance techno, its rock-hippy festival vibe for me now. Let someone else dwell in the darkness and that demonic ghost can go leave me along for ever. I dont want to know it. Trouble with praying to angels of the same name as long dead family members., At least I have caught on now. It was worth the sacrifice of all that soundbytes. I have to bless the machine now. White sage healing ritual. Electronics don't go well with smoke as a general rule but in this case it will be worth purifying it.
It is a very bassy machine, samples only at 36kHz. I'll have to high pass filter all my samples from here onward. Or use it as a MIDI control for the higher quality Roland S760. The ways we learn to be better composers... I guess I could market myself as an occultist composer if it wasn't such a pain in the arse to deal with unwanted dark entitites on such a regular basis.Its the creative energy they like about me, they feed off it, they use me as a horse, a zomba, to do their work and I DO NOT CONSENT.
People with no spiritual awareness are going to think I'm making this stuff up. Its very real, I assure you. It is probably going to try and make me recreate its portal again now. A change in musical style, mefeels. Its darkmoon in the next few days. Here is to galactic upshift!
Instantly my head cleared, my heart cleared, I saw with focus and the Love I previously had for this great little machine is back. What had happened?
A dark spirit was using me, and the machine, as its gate. The patterns and frequencies stored within the machine as 'music' were its access to enter and drain energy. So without searching file after file, I just killed the lot, sacrificed 9 full fat files of samples, I dont know how long maybe twenty minutes of, and all the associated rhythms.
I feel fantastic.
Today using the machine again, a hissing in my head, I identified exactly who the dark spirit is. Its an ancestral one who has been using me, controlling me for a few years.
No more dark and heavy music for summoning ghosts. From now on I'm staying clear of all that shit. No more dark trance techno, its rock-hippy festival vibe for me now. Let someone else dwell in the darkness and that demonic ghost can go leave me along for ever. I dont want to know it. Trouble with praying to angels of the same name as long dead family members., At least I have caught on now. It was worth the sacrifice of all that soundbytes. I have to bless the machine now. White sage healing ritual. Electronics don't go well with smoke as a general rule but in this case it will be worth purifying it.
It is a very bassy machine, samples only at 36kHz. I'll have to high pass filter all my samples from here onward. Or use it as a MIDI control for the higher quality Roland S760. The ways we learn to be better composers... I guess I could market myself as an occultist composer if it wasn't such a pain in the arse to deal with unwanted dark entitites on such a regular basis.Its the creative energy they like about me, they feed off it, they use me as a horse, a zomba, to do their work and I DO NOT CONSENT.
People with no spiritual awareness are going to think I'm making this stuff up. Its very real, I assure you. It is probably going to try and make me recreate its portal again now. A change in musical style, mefeels. Its darkmoon in the next few days. Here is to galactic upshift!
24.3.2012 : Manifesting the Past; Shamanic Monologue
http://dw4.convertfiles.com/files/0493131001332621863/vn00135-20120324-1943.wav
Apology the machine stopped recording, ran out of space, before the monologue was finished. The important basics are all in there already; later, the missing part, is re-iteration of the earlier precepts and some development which is self-evident to the astute.
Additional: What is the wibbly noise in the background at 21.46 seconds, that is distracting me? I didn't hear it but the audio picked it up - notice how I was speaking distracted without knowing why, at the time it is wibbling. What is that?
Additional 26.3.2012
26.3.2012 : deviantART
http://snakeappletree.deviantart.com/
Tonight drank the dregs of a bottle of JD and started uploading images at long last to devaintART, I have loads of this stuff lost in files and hard drives and usb disks, so what has ended up in deviantART tonight is a tiny selection on the theme of B&W cheap photoshop effects, all taken from the desktop folders of this machine. More to follow in this series and also colour series also to follow, as and when. More top shelf alcohol evidently greatly required.
http://dw4.convertfiles.com/files/0493131001332621863/vn00135-20120324-1943.wav
Apology the machine stopped recording, ran out of space, before the monologue was finished. The important basics are all in there already; later, the missing part, is re-iteration of the earlier precepts and some development which is self-evident to the astute.
Additional: What is the wibbly noise in the background at 21.46 seconds, that is distracting me? I didn't hear it but the audio picked it up - notice how I was speaking distracted without knowing why, at the time it is wibbling. What is that?
Additional 26.3.2012
26.3.2012 : deviantART
http://snakeappletree.deviantart.com/
Tonight drank the dregs of a bottle of JD and started uploading images at long last to devaintART, I have loads of this stuff lost in files and hard drives and usb disks, so what has ended up in deviantART tonight is a tiny selection on the theme of B&W cheap photoshop effects, all taken from the desktop folders of this machine. More to follow in this series and also colour series also to follow, as and when. More top shelf alcohol evidently greatly required.
10.4.2012 Studio Bound
No recent news, I'm living in cheap headphones because the expensive ones finally bit the dust and making plenty new music, some of which you'll be hearing eventually.
Louise Haye has this to say about an ingrown toenail;
Probable Cause; worry and guilt about my right to move forward.
New Thought Pattern; "It is my Divine right to take my own direction in life. I am safe. I am free."
16.4.2012 MYALISM
The spirits appear not to use name tags to describe us.
I discovered that voodoo religion has a specific word:
"MYALISM"
it means communing with spirits,
specifically ghosts who are trying to earn redemption
by cleansing their karma by 'helping' humans,
typically they are twats but they are the info relay system we have to deal with.
Typically they are on their own agenda's which are not explained,
occasionally one will do something helpful by revealing an insight,
after having tricked the myalist to be at a certain place at a certain time
to witness or discover something. From this we ascertain that they teach through trickery.
Myalism is a sense, not an option;
and it is this which has gotten me misdiagnosed as a schizophrenia sufferer.
I won't wear a blindfold to pretend I can't see what I don't like looking at,
as Werner Herzog said;
"the poet must not avert his eyes".
So, it is all this that is responsible for my head feeling sensitive today
and I need to catch up on sleep to strengthen myself.
I am fed up as fuck of being treated as a zomba.
The extent to which people are controlled by spirits
would frighten people if they were aware of the full scope of it.
On the music front:
I have reconnected thanks to the fates with Rob the guitarist,
we have many similar interests and inspirations,
and are currently discussing band names :)
5.5.2012 PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT
"SNAKEAPPLETREE"
is now
trademark licensed
to
ORDO OCTOPIA LTD
previously;
"snakeappletree" was the stage name used by an artist, musician & shaman
now;
"snakeappletree" is not a living flesh & blood being :
"snakeappletree" is a soulless corporate fiction;
a brand product logo & adult cartoon caricature
used by Ordo Octopia with permission from the original copyright owner
5.6.12 HEADPHONELAND
Bought some new 2nd-hand headphones for uk£3
of the same type I used to use once, so I'm in a comfort zone again.
This is probably about my 7th pair of studio headphones in the past decade.
Have been glistening to a lot of stuff recently and not so productive;
a few sketchy intro's laid down
and have been working with the Chaocracy crew.
28.6.2012 STREETS
I have spent hours going over the same old turf,
working on this track 'streets' for the cybergothic album
A very nice intro perfected,
however where it goes from here? is what is taking so long to figure out
these weathered paving slabs atop cobbled antiquity atop earthen textures,
sounds of generations still present hidden in the cracks,
resounding from metal girders and in eigentones,
between tall buildings with glass and electric neon secrets,
observing through twitching curtains from brown, aged, stale air
within the stone cells they sell us to enslave us.
Layers of rhythms all at different tempos and where they beatmatch,
sometimes its a sexy look and sometimes its a scary movie.
At least its progress albeit wearing on the ankles and toxic to the skies.
The track seems aimless as I pioneer a path, walking to keep fit,
taking lots of little snippets from offcut recordings ten minutes long
on each instrument encountered on the way.
Its a cyber-optic journey, a soundscape rather than a song,
drifting on pressure-drop and steam-vent powered winds
are memories; the memories interact
and the future sends its tendrils through perceptions tuned
to open minded acceptance of inevitable decay.
Streets smells of trash, sounds of soliciting, is hard and grimy.
These are Human textures for the Age of Itza, the Human equation.
Dog shit, cigarette butts, used condoms, lucky pennies, broken plastic things,
spilled oil, raindrops, rusting metal things, litter, promises of gold, emotions left to rot,
and soundsweeps from Ballard's visionary prose.
It's been a strange few days and even here, I'm haggard losing the groove.
Returns to Jeff Noon for a booster of angels quills, photo's of skills
someday you will learn the future descendants can speak through our minds,
see through our eyes, its a hobby to them. And they advance
so that our worldly vibration from this place and time become overlaid
with their own cycle and accessible as a dimensional window technology opens.
This and the teleporter beams will change everything, you'll see.
When the right sounds flow through you in the right way, when you feel
your blood dragged through a grain made of raw and bodylicking nervous sensation ...
I guess that's what I'm trying to do here and without really realising
until I tried explaining it in words.
The beautiful people are re-opening my all time heartland of the worlds best venue,
the Axiom Art Center in a city I long left behind.
I came of age there.
7.7.2012 ICE & FIRE
Game of Thrones dvd boxed set
WOW!
Yes, I want the soundtrack!
despite it only having 4 pieces of music through the whole thing
Lesson: a big budget production such as this, really does need
constantly changing music, a different composer for each location
sharing notes only when discussing a characters theme tune
What else I know of Ice & Fire comes from Saxon & other Celtic shamanism
I really deserve an igloo
It's hard work after too much
facebook to stay focused on one thing
for so long
I don't very often at all watch movies
Where the Wild Things Are was good,
that was about 2 years ago;
Nothing else has stuck in my head, hence not doing movies
It used to be they were all full of adults,
Now its that they're all full of kids.
Its funny because my 'music' is more of a soundtrack rather than 'songs'.
Coffee, Cinnamon, Nutmeg, Honey
20.10.2012 'Not Drawing'
I have had several life changing experiences recently.
This website mostly dates to a period of my life
from the age of 22 to 36
which can easily be summarized as;
‘not doing any drawing’.
Being plugged into creation of visual art for me is a method of meditating,
because it is a trance state;
drawing forth form from the Imaginal realms uses a different part of the brain
to most observational and interactive activities,
and is closer akin to witchery than it is to conversational cognitive functions.
A great part of my art school education was to enhance the hand-eye co-ordination
so that accurate drawing/painting ability is combined with observational skills.
This is a different sort of observational skill to watching a television or gazing at a landscape.
We do not seem to have words for these concepts in the English language
and it seems logical for me to borrow phrases from preceding proto-british groups
such as Saxon which deals with entering the inner realms,
it being an amazingly shamanic worldview.
I have began drawing again
and this has changed my persona and energy attunement
sufficiently that it has noticeably affected my approach to making music.
Listening back to some of my old work discs
recorded while I have been fiddling around in the studio for this past decade,
it is apparent that most of my studio time has gone into what I describe as
ambient and atmospheric soundscapes, rather than actual music.
For this reason it seems sensible to progress from here,
coupled with my new optimistic and focused approach,
with the creation of film soundtracks for films that do not yet exist.
Oblique strategies as borrowed from the highly influential Brian Eno.
Visual and Audio creativity linked through synaesthetic cerebral cortex,
the language of both is the same.
7.11.2012
new boots today! = new world to walk in
(as by tradition)
british army combat boots
(seconds - someone wore them in for me already so no blisters)
having worn my doc martens to death (and blisters).
The last fortnight has been a mental busy time with working on a lot of new music following some new experiences...
3.11.2013
finally at long last have everything placed more or less where it needs to be
so, have been experimenting with samples
recorded over the past decade onto Roland s760 (old floppy disks)
an old gunslinger now...
recorded a few singers this year, not done much else
playing live on the organ downstairs and composing
December 2013
Following discovery that someone has hacked into and deleted all of my webjam sites,
i have began the process of converting this (studio journal) site into my main website and internet presence.
At the same time, the discovery that everything we do in the google empire is spied upon using program code where the invisible functionality applications are also spyware, so that nothing works without them, a relatively new phenomena on the internet as far as i am aware given that i used to be able to do the same things without relying on these cookies.
i have gone over to duckduckgo which claims to make my internet activity invisible to the private corporations behind this sinister agenda. It has some useful applications of its own,
not only ad blockers also tracking blockers.
Fiddling with the tracking software on/off is how i have discovered the same tracking software is the functionality for accessing the websites owned by the corporation
who do not have my consent to store my data no matter what their intentions.
By UK Common Law their activity is in breach of my Rights;
it is shameful that they be permitted to get away with it.
i am a composer; they are terrorists.
"We are governed by consent"
Teresa May UK Home Secretary
I DO NOT CONSENT TO BE GOVERNED
because the government are criminals,
by their own definition of the word
'terrorism'.
28.12.13
جو
Have been working on some compositions,
playing it live then input to machine so I can figure out how the next bit sounds,
I would write it to paper manuscript but I ran out already
then the using the computer takes on a life of its own,
derails the intended flow from the original theme and live improvisation;
it's a struggle to get it back there without it becoming something else.
Using machines directly affects the music in this way, changes it's structure.
Learning from both because both have their own forms of innovation.
Anyway here is the work in progress.
It is based around a famous French piece that I don't know the name of.
When the improvisation becomes the maths and the maths becomes the music,
the freedom is outside of that equation; the freedom is the real music.
The structure is there only to give a framework to escape from.
That dynamic, that journey; becomes what you hear.
These words are more exciting than the sounds.
7.12.13
lantana, piano work-in-progress
جو
October 1st 2014
Site stats show that I am getting 50 hits a day on this site. Thank You all of you.
I have been busy exposing abuse networks in SW wales
where it is wrong to be male and punishable by discrimination
But the good news is:
Rob texted me; the band is back on. We have practice arranged, he has found a cheaper place to rent. He's also found another band member.
August 2014
The door carving is the Magi card from the tarot.
Burning the candle at both ends to achieve the level.
This week I acquired a White top to replace or augment the habitual Black.
Have been developing 3D content for Ordo Octopia projects,
although have some great sound samples to use when I get Time/Focus on that.
July 2014
On and For the Record
The reason I am interested in subliminal mind programming
is not because I do it
(if I did I would stay publicly quiet about it to be more effective at it)
My intention is to make people more aware that it is real and exists
So that people are more likely to identify it when they see it happening
And defend themselves from it
June 2014
Added a few new chapters to MDK
Murder Tales featuring Crow
March 2014
Have been recording vocal samples with a talented young lady
who is as professional as she is lovely.
Its a lucky break for the studio -
have been trying to get a female singer
to put down some soundbytes for a long time.
In Wales if you ask any woman if she can sing
or wants to be in a band or the time
or anything at all for that matter,
all she hears is the words;
'do you want to have sex with me'
and the actual straight-talk face-value words are irrelevant.
She has a great voice, it is versatile,
we plan to do more sessions in future.
So I bought a fairly decent microphone,
better than the two-for-a-pound ones from poundland
that I have been using for the last decade.
It is described as having a 'warm' sound.
It is sensitive! Picks up all the frequencies of background sound;
birds outside and breathing, cars going past,
which have to be EQ'd out or alternatively
add ambience to the recording.
Now I know why studio's use sound proof booths to record vocals in.
Considering converting the shower into such a thing,
having previously discovered the merits of buddhist chanting in the shower
which it is a cute booth for resonance.
"Hey girl how would you like to come and make sexy noises in my shower cubical?
It's safe, I only want to record you doing it."
Yeah right mate.
And so eventually the music will make its way into the public arena
so you will see for yourself that it's worth the effort of taking this seriously.
Jan 2014
Dreamed today again of some beneficial entity pulling a lizard from my throat,
out through my mouth, rising all the way up through my core.
Ideally it would be a snake and easy to slide out but this fucker has developed claws,
a spike in my voicebox and gripping my lower chakra's from within.
Whoever has been doing this healing, i am grateful.
My cat was sleeping next to me so perhaps it was her.
A few nights ago the same, and the lizard snapped,
left its claws in me and they grew back again, same as tonight.
The healer advised I relax and let go.
I want to let go, for some reason my subconscious seems not ready yet?
I am reminded very much of the mayan scroll-serpent stellae with a human in its mouth,
this time its the other way around; the snake coming out through my throat.
Wish I knew what it was. The voice answers;
it's dirt, it doesn't matter specifically what it manifests as,
what the lizard looks like.
Just get it out.
Why am I holding on?
What am I holding on to?
11.5.2015
six months of long haul dedicated to LEA (Linden Endowment for the Arts) bursary project
with co-artist Asmita Duranjaya, building The Paradise of Cybertropolis
themed on oriental urban sci-fi
in SecondLife the worlds premier Virtual Reality forum
20.6.2015
Had a dream this week about pulling long fibers from my tongue, hairs and root matrix.
It relates to the lizard dream in Jan 2014.
I'm sure it is to do with healing.
Next day I had my tooth pulled.
Glad its gone, no more mercury filling no more magnetic distortion around my head affecting how my brain functions.
I do feel cleaner now, already.
